I still remember the first time I saw you. I was getting out of a really bad situation, and I needed more than a rebound, I needed someone who could change my life. I needed to be cared for, to be comforted, to have a companion that could make me feel free and young. I was not expecting to have a shot at you, I just had this surge of confidence after being turned down so many times and noticing you. So, I stepped up to the plate that night. I still remember when I was talking to Dan that night, sort of. Even though I began the conversation, when I had caught my first glimpse of you from afar, I ignored everything he was saying and focused on looking for you over his shoulder. Though it was crowded that night, the lights in the room were so bright I swear it seemed like they were all focused on you. I knew you could sense me looking, it was my sixth sense telling me you could; I could feel the connection. Sighs. Well it was all a blur after that, but my memory always takes me to the first time we were alone and I touched you ... I can still feel the wave of chills rippling through my body. I couldn't believe it when we first hooked up, it was real hot, and you always knew the right music to play to keep the mood right.

I will never forget the good times we had. Remember when we went to LA together that night? No one knows about that. Or the time we all went to Vegas spontaneously? I think everyone agrees that you made ME look good by rollin with me on the strip, not vice versa I know it's superficial to focus on body parts rather than what's on the "inside", but man you had it all that night! Maybe I appreciated you more cuz I was your first and it had this pure feeling to it... we had that special magic... but you know all good things have got to come to an end...and here we are...

Who am I kidding? I am surprised at how long we even lasted, we just weren't meant to be...not right now... I've got too much going on, I'm way older, and you've got too much potental for me to keep you down... I'm a simple guy, with simple goals, and you're a sexy thing that could steal any man you wanted... but you still keep your class. It's best for us to end things on good terms, and I want you to know I cherish all the memories we have. I know this sounds cliche, but this isn't "goodbye", this is more like... "see you later". I want you to promise me one thing though.... If sometime in the near future I'm going somewhere and you happen to cross paths and see me somewhere nearby and we are both with the new ones in our life, then I want you to ignore me, and just keep moving. You'll have someone anew and I'll have someone new and I don't want to ever make things weird with you and the future person in your life. And in case you're wondering, I'll be straight with you and get to the point...yes, I've found another, and I'm ready to move on. NO I didn't find this other while I was with you, but this one came at a good time, is more of the type for me, not as attractive as you but is one that I can commit to long term and that I know will be down for me. But it's too soon to say at this point. Please don't be angry, because we all know that you can find someone in a second, so please, promise me you will look back and only remember the happy memories we shared, ok? Take care... and good luck with everything...

goodbye, Lexus IS 300!!!!

hellooooooooo Mazda 3!!!!

lololol what did y'all think huh???

Ok here's my little explanations justifying the paragraph ha ha ha... enjoy

I still remember the first time I saw you. I was getting out of a really bad situation, and I needed more than a rebound, I needed someone who could change my life. (my hyundai broke down, I was pissed, and the dealers were rippin me off).  I needed to be cared for, to be comforted, to have a companion that could make me feel free and young. I was not expecting to have a shot at you, I just had this surge of confidence after being turned down so many times and noticing you. So, I stepped up to the plate that night. I still remember when I was talking to Dan that night, (the dealer) sort of. Even though I began the conversation, when I had caught my first glimpse of you from afar, I ignored everything he was saying and focused on looking for you over his shoulder. Though it was crowded that night, the lights in the room were so bright I swear it seemed like they were all focused on you. (the spotlights in the showroom)  I knew you could sense me looking, it was my sixth sense telling me you could; I could feel the connection. Sighs. Well it was all a blur after that, but my memory always takes me to the first time we were alone and I touched you (driving the car home from the dealership)... I can still feel the wave of chills rippling through my body. I couldn't believe it when we first hooked up, it was real hot, and you always knew the right music to play to keep the mood right.  (the pioneer sound system!)

I will never forget the good times we had. Remember when we went to LA together that night? No one knows about that. Or the time we all went to Vegas spontaneously? I think everyone agrees that you made ME look good by rollin with me on the strip, (we were cruising with the moonroof open!) not vice versa I know it's superficial to focus on body parts rather than what's on the "inside", but man you had it all that night! Maybe I appreciated you more cuz I was your first and it had this pure feeling to it... (i bought it brand new lol) we had that special magic... but you know all good things have got to come to an end...and here we are...

Who am I kidding? I am surprised at how long we even lasted, we just weren't meant to be...not right now... (no need for a status car anymore, save money time) I've got too much going on, I'm way older, and you've got too much potental for me to keep you down... I'm a simple guy, with simple goals, and you're a sexy thing that could steal any man you wanted... (hella fools wanted to buy it!) but you still keep your class. It's best for us to end things on good terms, and I want you to know I cherish all the memories we have. I know this sounds cliche, but this isn't "goodbye", this is more like... "see you later". (the car is at carmax used car dealership lol) I want you to promise me one thing though.... If sometime in the near future I'm going somewhere and you happen to cross paths and see me somewhere nearby and we are both with the new ones in our life, then I want you to ignore me, and just keep moving. (yeah i'm not going to wave at the car if theres someone new driving it ha ha ha) You'll have someone anew and I'll have someone new and I don't want to ever make things weird with you and the future person in your life. And in case you're wondering, I'll be straight with you and get to the point...yes, I've found another, and I'm ready to move on. NO I didn't find this other while I was with you, but this one came at a good time, is more of the type for me, not as attractive as you but is one that I can commit to long term and that I know will be down for me. (mazda 3, cheaper but reliable, bought it after i sold the lex). But it's too soon to say at this point. Please don't be angry, because we all know that you can find someone in a second, so please, promise me you will look back and only remember the happy memories we shared, ok? Take care... and good luck with everything...

My name is Walid, and I am addicted to...

"The infliction of punishment in return for a wrong committed" ... VENGEANCE. 

I used to think it was humorous and fun...then I thought it made me feel better about things, and now it's to the point that I find myself indulging in it, and that I find myself finding... myself(?) through it... and so I can now honestly say that I am just to the point where I have a habitual psychological and physiological dependence on a practice beyond my voluntary control, aka, an addiction to vengeance. 

God help me.

A good sign that you're in the real world...

Who watches Flavor of Love?  What a damn funny/addicting show.  I feel guilty cuz it's basically an extended hip hop video turned into reality program which totally derogatizes a bunch of women, but, hey, it's America.  Anyways, if you guys who watch it saw Hottie get eliminated for being fake, and Smiley get eliminated for personal problems... I got news for you:  Smiley is fake too.

Go to her filmography on imdb and see for yourself: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0648871/

She's all over the net, an established adult model that has posed nude all over, and has made appearances as an extra on movies and as a WWF/WWE model.  Basically, she's been in the game.  I found this troubling bio on an independent website, which I hope is not true http://www.angelfire.com/hi4/bfm/bfmleilene.html

here is an excerpt from this bio: 

Guy turn-offs:
someone with no sense of style, cockiness, and we have a problem if we're fighting for mirror space, guys who act or dress really ghetto and have no manners

WTF?  This is Flavor of Love!! She must have been in the wrong place ha ha. I also found out that Red Oyster and Peaches were extras in movies as well... good times.

Man I feel bad cuz Smiley's a filipina but, that whole show seems like it's fake, not just her, and it's just that it's good entertainment so I mean who really gives a damn if it's fake?  I mean the only reason we watch Reality TV is because we just want to extend our imagination and think we're closer to living what we see than we are the fictional movies/sitcoms that we normally watch. 

Think about it... oh and on that note, who wants to go watch the reunion taping in LA! I found this on craigslist:

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/tfr/132594411.html

hahahahahahahahahahahhahahaaahaa

OK... continued from previous entry...

So here I go, here's how it really is.  Well for starters, let me tell you about my career situation:  I work to help people finance and re-finance their mortgages on their home, or I'll loan them money to purchase a new one.  Let me define "refinance" for you beginners:

Basically, if you have already borrowed X amount of money for your home purchase, and you currently pay Y amount per month, you would want to refinance if you realize that there is now a new loan program available that allows you to pay a lower monthly payment, (lower than amount Y), and so you would pursue what they call a "refinance" of your existing  your loan, which would sort of "start over" your loan with a new bank to give you a chance to live more comfortably with a lower payment or perhaps a better inerest rate. 

Additionally, if the value of your house is higher than when you first bought it, then you can do a "cash out refinance", which means you would  actually borrower a higher amount than you originally borrowed, thus allowing you to keep the difference in your pocket as "cash out".  (Eg., if you originally borrowed 200K when you bought your house worth 200K, and now 1 year later it is worth 250K, you can borrower a new loan for 250K and keep the 50K for yourself as a personal loan.)  

 In a cash out refinance, homeowners usually borrow the extra money because you get the cheapest loan anywhere!  By cheapest, what I mean is that the lowest monthly payment come when you borrower money through a mortgage, (they also call this an equity loan, since you are borrowing against the equity[aka value] of your house).  For example, you can get 20K loan for maybe only 100 extra per month if you get it through your mortgage, as opposed to a credit card/auto loan payment which could cost you 4 times that!! This benefits a homeowners if that person is in debt, or has a lot of personal loans, because refinancing is a great way to "consolidate" all of their debts to pay them off with their new cash loan and have just one low payment per month.  Even though the balance of their original mortgage loan is going to be  a little higher, the overall monthly expenses will be lower, and  the average person is just worried about their monthly payments and having more cashflow because they probably live check to check.  Refinancing NEVER ceases to be popular, no matter how much the government increases interest rates, because mortgage rates are always lower than auto loans, personal loans, and OF COURSE credit cards.  You have to realize that most American's are in some sort of debt already.

SO IN OTHER WORDS, we the lenders always profit due to the misfortunes or special preferenes of others in debt.  What's sad is that most of the high profit will come from us helping people with lower credit backgrounds who have no luck in other areas of loans such as personal loans and credit cards, and need cash badly.  So, we are improving their situation a little, since they're coming from a worse place, but we still charge high interest.  While we do all of this, we have to work through people's bad credit risks, and in the process we oversee the challenges people go through in their life, and well, I basically get a snapshot of all of my clients lives and here's what I've found:

The majority of those in lower credit/income situations who qualify for the higher rates and more risky programs that make us more money, are women and minorities.  They are the ones the company profits the most on, because they are charged a higher service fee for having a higher risk.  (This is universal, not just my company, in fact, mine is the most diverse I've ever seen, but that's still not saying much based on the industry)...

AND THIS LEADS ME TO SEE WHAT MOST DON'T SEE, THE TRUE COLORS OF OUR SOCIETY...(which is ironic because that's the same reason I enjoyed being a sociology major and now I'm experiencing it at work)...

So the bottom line?

(drum roll please)...

THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, (aka, EARTH), has a system in place in which your status in society is in almost direct relation to YOUR CREDIT RATING, also known as your FICO SCORE. 

Fact:  We all know that wealth is distributed and maintained in an extremely unbalanced manner. 

Fact:  We all know that the pattern of inequality is difficult to trace, as it's forms change over the years, and in present day are not very direct. 

Here is a general breakdown of the history:

- Then - Years ago, the nation was founded on free labor and slavery.  At the time, it was understood that something might not have been right about it, but, a better solution seemed difficult to transition towards.

- Then - Later in history, the nation was divided into obvious categories pertaining to race, and segregationby the government regulated society.  At the time, it was understood that something might not have been right about it, but, a better solution seemed difficult to transition towards.

- Now - It is understood that something might not be right about the credit rating system, but, a better solution to handling finaces in America are not available, and a better solution would be too difficult to transition towards.

Today, there is no acceptable form of direct discrimination or inequality, but rather, indirect forms are dominant yet harder to trace and can be easily disguised by token instances.  The center of the cause of today's separation is the CREDIT RATING SYSTEM.  Finances and CREDIT HISTORY/RATING of an individual are pretty much perpetuated from generation to generation.  If one is able to start off with a great amount of inherent wealth they can in turn  make more wealth with the good credit they inherited, thus making it impossible for one without the original means to access this wealth and good credit, thus making it extremely difficult (but not impossible!) for anyone trying to overcome hardships. It can't be impossible because token instances must make it through. (*LIKE ME!!!!!!!! But hold on to this thought...) 

Just think about it... who buys a house in cash?  Everyone gets a loan.  Who doesn't have a car loan?  A Student loan?  A personal loan?  A credit card?  In California, the median family of 4 makes 32K a year...and would need to make about 4 times that to afford an average home.  BUT, the super high credit homeowners can actually afford a house on this income because if you have great credit you can qualify for special loans that give you lower/more affordable payments in the first few years of your new home loan while you transition.... and guess who usually gets those?  After you get that loan, you can sell the home in a few years and make thousands and thousands of dollars in profit from the growth of the home, while poor families still scrape for rent. 

*THIS IS INTERESTING BECAUSE I AM ONE OF THESE TOKEN EXCEPTIONS.  I BUSTED MY BUTT, ONLY TO FIND THAT THE OBSTALCES I'VE OVERCOME ARE NOT FAIR.  IT MOTIVATES ME TO TRY HARD, TO PROVE THE SYSTEM WRONG, BUT, OCCASSIONALLY, LIKE TODAY, I HAVE STILL FOUND THAT YOUR PAST AND BACKGROUND ALWAYS COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU, AND BEING THAT TOKEN IS NOT WHAT IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE.  I PLEDGE TO ALWAYS UNDERSTAND WHO I AM, WHAT I AM, AND WHAT MY GOALS ARE AND TO GET THERE ANY WAY POSSIBLE.  HONDA FINANCE CAN KISS MY ASS.  I WOULDN'T HAVE THIS PROBLEM IF THE LADY WOULD HAVE DONE HER PAPERWORK RIGHT THREE MONTHS AGO.  IF I CALLED AND SAID I WAS WILL INSTEAD OF WALID, MAYBE SHE WOULD HAVE DONE IT RIGHT AND NOT GIVEN ME ATTITUDE?  BUT INSTEAD, I GET THE SHAFT.  I PLEDGE TO NEVER CHANGE MY NAME FOR ANYONE.  I AM MOHAMMAD WALID, AND I WILL ALWAYS BE THAT AS I STRIVE TO HIT MY GOALS...(ok maybe i might be Mo Dub here and there, but it's better than Will, no offense to my buddy who goes by Will, but I'm different).  AND WHEN I MAKE IT, I WILL STILL COMPLAIN ABOUT MY HARDSHIPS TO MAKE PEOPLE AWARE OF THE STRUGGLES...SO I WILL NOT SELL OUT AND LIE LIKE OTHER TOKEN SUCCESS STORIES WHO ACT LIKE THEY HAD THE SAME CHANCE AS EVERYONE ELSE, WHEN THEY REALLY HAD TO CLIMB A MOUNTAIN. 

 I'LL ALWAYS KEEP IT REAL.

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